I have a dilemma. My best friend is cheating on her boyfriend and has been pretty much since they got together a year ago. I usually just operate under the “it’s not my relationship, it’s not my problem” line of thinking when dealing with these kinds of things, but recently I’ve started hanging out with her boyfriend more (we have a class together now). I can’t help but feel awful. He’s a genuinely sweet guy who doesn’t deserve to be treated the way she treats him. He really has no idea about it either — he always talks about how great she is and how much she loves him, and I can’t help but feel icky. I don’t want to stop being his or her friend; I just want to stop feeling so weird. I can’t tell my friend to stop cheating, and even if I asked her to stop telling me about it, I’d still know that it is happening, so what do I do? If I tell him, he might not believe me, and then I’ll look like a horrible person, and if he does believe me, he’d probably break up with her, and I would lose her friendship. What do I do?

Confused Carrie

Dear Carrie,

This is a tough one, and I’m afraid there really is no way not to feel “icky” about the whole thing if you continue your friendship with both of them. As you get closer to your best friend’s guy, you’ll just feel worse and worse about knowing her indiscretions and eventually lose respect and liking of your bestie for hurting someone else who is now close to you.

That said, it really isn’t your place to tell the boyfriend. As you said, there’s the chance that he won’t believe you, and at that point, your do-gooder action loses you two friends. And if he does believe you and leaves her over it, your best friend may never forgive you for what she might see as a slight against her. Telling him is a lose-lose situation all around.

If you really do want to continue to be friends with both your best friend and her boyfriend, my advice is to pick one and loosen up your friendship with the other because you can’t be that close to both of them and help (by proxy) one cheat on the other. It might seem unfair, but you can’t have your cake and eat it too. More than likely, your friend’s relationship with this guy will come to an end at some point. She’s been cheating since the beginning, and that’s never a good sign. When or if it comes down to them splitting up someday, who would you rather be friends with? Who are you closer to? Who can you rely on more? Ask yourself these questions, and don’t hang out as much with the other person. You’ll find that keeping an acquaintance in the dark about something like this is a lot less heavy on the conscience than keeping it from a close friend.

All my best,

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

One of my guy friends just recently told me that he likes me (romantically) and wants to date me. I have absolutely no feelings for him that aren’t platonic. We’ve been friends for a few years now, and he’s never before indicated that he might like me as more than a friend. Suffice to say, I was a bit shocked by this new development. I haven’t really talked to him much since he told me, and I hate avoiding him like this because we usually hang out all the time. So basically, how can I let my guy friend down easy but still be his friend?

Friend Zone Farrah

Dear Farrah,

Just be straight up and honest with him. Don’t beat around the bush or lead him on with false hope (i.e., telling him that you aren’t into him now rather than saying that you aren’t into him period). Tell him that you value his friendship immensely and like him as a person, but you just don’t feel the same way about him. Then give him space for a few days. Rejection hurts no matter how you phrase it, so leave him to his own devices for a bit before trying to hang out again. Then hang out again and revel in the friendliness.

A word going forward: do not act differently toward him. Catch yourself if you find yourself being more distant or acting strangely toward him. It probably took a lot of guts for him to tell you what he did. He’d probably been mulling over it for a few days (if not longer), and he put himself completely out there. Just keep being friendly toward him, and let him know through your actions that his revelation doesn’t have to change the dynamic between you two just because you don’t feel the same way about him. Keep in mind that he may want to distance himself a bit after this whole thing, and that is completely OK.

So remember: Be up-front and honest while remaining kind. Give him a bit of space, and keep acting as you usually do.

All my best,

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Help! I just got fired from my part-time job, and I NEED MONEY. I’m desperate. I don’t qualify for work-study, and nobody seems to be hiring around here. What can I do?

Broke Becca

Dear Becca,

Talk to your friends. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “It’s not what you know but who you know” time and time again, and with the economic situation we’re in today, this is truer than ever. So reach into your network of friends and family and see if anyone knows someone who might be hiring. You’d be surprised at how many places have openings that aren’t listed on job search websites or in any way advertised to a wide audience. Pay particular attention to your senior friends with part-time jobs; many of them are leaving the city as soon as they graduate and will be leaving openings in their current positions that need to get filled. A good word from them to their employers about you may just get a job lined up for you.

While you do search, think about the skills you have. Tutoring is a great way to earn a bit of money, and there are people looking to get tutored in any class imaginable (OK, maybe no one’s looking to get tutored in Co-op 101, but you get the point). Editing student papers is also a great way to earn money; people are always looking for new sets of eyes for their writing. If you take good notes and pay close attention to detail, you could offer to outline textbook chapters for students for a small fee.

Keep an eye out for odd jobs. See if any of your parents’ friends are looking for a pet/house/babysitter anytime soon.

Best of Luck!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

It’s the end of the term, and that means all my procrastination has finally paid off, leaving me with a glorious mountain of papers and projects and not a lot of time to do them. Because I am such a great student, I suspect that I will be pulling a few all-nighters in the next few weeks. Any advice to make them go smoothly?

Cramming Craig

Dear Craig,

Ah, the all-nighter. What a great and terrible creature. My best advice to you is to start the night as early as possible. Don’t wait until 10 p.m. to crack open that chemistry book when you could do just the same at 6 p.m.

In order to be successful at this, you will need to get SMART. Oh, you know you love acronyms, don’t complain. SMART is the all-nighter toolkit, and it stands for: Snacks, Motivation, Attention boosters, Recuperation and Time management.

Snacks are a given — food gives you energy, and eating it keeps you awake. Eat things like chips, trail mix, apples, and other foods that are crunchy and also moderately difficult to eat. Stay away from cupcakes, doughnuts and other carb-heavy soft foods that will make you sleepy and more likely to call it quits when you need to keep going. Keep snacks within easy reach, and bring enough to your study space that you won’t need to keep taking breaks to get more.

Motivation is what will keep you going through the night. It could be your GPA, the fact that this assignment is worth 65 percent of your grade, or the possibility of disappointing your parents or yourself if you don’t complete this assignment. Whatever it is, make your motivation something that will remind you why this is important, and write it down. Keep it near you, and when you’re feeling groggy and unmotivated, take a glance at it and press on.

Attention boosters can take several forms, both chemical and physical. If caffeine is your thing, go for it — have plenty of coffee or energy drinks available, and drink as needed. That said, do not overdo it — you’ll only crash early in the night, and then what’s the point? Physical attention boosters can be standing up and moving around when your legs get stiff, going to sharpen your pencil, wiggling in your seat, whatever it is you need to do to wake yourself up when the inevitable sleepiness seeps in. You might have a friend who comes in to see you every so often. The point of attention boosters is to keep you awake and alert throughout the night.

Recuperation is very important and will help you from feeling completely awful the next day. Allow yourself scheduled breaks (but not too many) where you can take a nap (no longer than 20 minutes at a time), surf the Web (just be sure not to lose track of time) or any other relaxing activity. This will allow you to pace your work and feel less stressed.

Time management may be the most critical piece of the SMART puzzle. You need to schedule out how long you will work on one particular part of an assignment and stick to it. It might be easy to get caught up in outlining a paper before you start it, but if you’re taking two hours to complete an outline you wanted to finish in 20 minutes, you’re cutting into time that can be spent completing the actual assignment. Set out times for what you will do, and stick to them.

Best of luck, Craig, and do remember that the best advice regarding all-nighters is to prevent them altogether!

Sadie

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I haven’t felt like myself lately. I feel stressed out all the time, moody, I snap at my friends, and I really don’t like myself as of late. I don’t want to talk to any of my friends about it because I’m normally super bubbly and talkative, and I don’t think my parents would understand. I just need something relaxing to do, I think, to help balance classes and worrying about getting interviews for co-op. Any ideas or ways you could help?

Down Donna

Dear Donna,

Oh, I wish I could give you a hug right now. You’re definitely right to think that you should probably do something relaxing — take up drawing or journaling and let your ideas flow for a bit, or do something you enjoy that you haven’t done in a while. Give yourself a break; you need to recuperate from the stresses of student life. If you find your classes overwhelming, I’d encourage you to talk to your academic adviser about possibly tweaking your course load. While it may be too late to do anything about this quarter, some preventative scheduling can go a long way in making sure that your life next quarter is less stressed than this one.

That said, I am concerned by your saying that you don’t like yourself lately. You say that you feel stressed out all the time, but this sounds like it could be something else. I highly encourage you to talk to someone — anyone, really. If you can’t go to your friends or family, I’d encourage you to see one of the counselors on campus at the Drexel Counseling Center — they’re there to listen, they aren’t judgmental, and everything you say to them is confidential, so you can feel free to talk it out. I hope you feel better soon!

All my best,

Sadie

 Dear Sadie,

I hate interviewing, and co-op interviews are coming up! My resume looks pretty sharp, and I’m usually great with people, but for whatever reason, when I get into an interview setting, I clam up and start knocking things over (it’s happened, and no, I did not get that job). Any tips on calming my nerves?

Nervous Nelly

Dear Nelly,

Don’t stress! Plenty of people find interviews nerve-wracking, including myself — you definitely aren’t alone there. The one thing that I can recommend over anything else is practice.

Get a friend (preferably one who’s had a number of interviews before and can be serious) to dress up like a potential employer, and you dress up in an outfit you’d wear to an interview. Have copies of your resume ready, and have your friend interview you as if you were actually applying for a real job. Get comfortable with the interview setting, and when you actually sit down for those A-round interviews (good luck, by the way!), you’ll be much more at ease.

Another thing to do is to know your resume back and forth, but don’t rehearse it. Rehearsing it might cause you to fumble when an interviewer asks you something you didn’t expect (i.e., you were expecting to talk about how your job at McDonald’s makes you great at customer service, but a potential employer asks you how it affected your leadership and team-building abilities). Instead, treat your resume like a story — you’re the main character, and it’s all the professional things you’ve done. Get creative in the ways you think about it.

Speaking of getting creative, treat your interview like you would a conversation with a professor or someone else in authority. You said that you’re great with people so long as you’re not interviewing, so try altering the way you view the interview process and see if it works. That said, do remain professional!

In reference to knocking things over: Take deep breaths when you feel worked up. If you feel yourself shaking or feeling a bit out of control, feel free to take a second or two to collect yourself. Something that works for me when feeling nervous is to take the tension away from the bottom up — that is, relax your toes, then your feet, then your calves, all the way up to your head (but don’t slouch if you’re in the interview!) — you’ll instantly feel calmer and ready to take on any question thrown at you. You’ll do just fine; I know it.

All my Best,

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

How do you know when it’s time to let things go? My boyfriend and I have been fighting pretty much nonstop for the last few weeks, and I’m sick of it. The trouble is that I love him a lot, and when we aren’t fighting, everything’s good. I wish things would be better between us, sort of like how they were in the beginning. I really do want to be with him, but I can’t keep fighting all the time — it’s driving me crazy! Sometimes I feel like the relationship is not worth it anymore because all we do is fight; other times I feel super happy with him. I’m very confused —what should I do?

Lovelorn Laura

Dear Laura,

Oh, dear. This is a toughie. What needs to happen is a long, honest talk between the two of you in which you both let out your frustrations with the relationship. Constantly fighting with one another is a symptom of a bigger problem, not the problem itself. You both need to talk about what it is that is bothering you in the relationship, and you both need to be completely honest about whether or not you really want to be together. You may learn something not only about him but also about yourself. Maybe you start fights with him because it’s the only time you feel that you have his attention. Maybe you are subconsciously pushing him away for some reason, or maybe he’s doing the same. Whatever the case is, find out what is underlying all these fights, and work out if this relationship is right for you or not.

I’d advise not seeing each other for a few days before you do have this conversation. This will give the two of you time to calm down from your most recent argument and will allow the two of you to gather your thoughts. Take the time to think seriously about this relationship and what it is that you like and dislike about it. Think about the ways that you two are compatible and the ways you aren’t. Come to the table calm, cool and collected. Hear what he has to say without getting angry, and expect the same from him. Be open and honest, and things will end up as they should.

If you really do love him and the two of you want to work things out and be together, you’ve got more than a shot at salvaging this. My last piece of advice would be to make sure that you don’t have this relationship-evaluating conversation at either your place or his. Pick a neutral, quiet spot that isn’t public and doesn’t have any emotional value for either of you. That way, there are fewer distractions and less of a chance of a place being ‘soured’ for either of you. A neutral location will also help the situation to be less awkward in case this talk takes a turn for the ‘I don’t think we should be together.’

Be calm, be mindful of your boyfriend’s feelings (don’t intentionally try to hurt him), and be honest with both him and yourself — it’s the only way to make sure things end up for the better.

Wishing you the best of luck,

Sadie

 Dear Sadie,

This is pretty random, but hopefully you can help me. The last hour at work (I’m on co-op) always drags and drags. It’s the longest hour of the day, and I’m not productive during it (really, who is?). I was wondering if you had any ways to make this hour less brutal (i.e., boring and pointless). Thanks.

Bored Barry

Dear Barry,

Ah, that last hour of the day. It sucks, doesn’t it? But there are plenty of ways to make it better. For one thing, you could take the time to organize tasks you have to do the next day. This way you’re still doing ‘work,’ but you don’t feel the weight of projects compounded with the impending end of the day. Another thing you might try is organizing your workstation. I know firsthand how messy a desk can get during the day, and taking the time to organize it should kill a decent amount of time. Go through the stacks of papers on your desk and figure out what can go and what can’t. Make a list of supplies that need to be restocked.

Alternatively, you could always ask your boss if they have a sort of side project they’ve been meaning to do. Maybe they want the supply closet organized but haven’t gotten around to it. Maybe they’ve been meaning to put in a few work orders but are too busy to do them during the day. Offer to do small jobs like these — they’ll pass time, and you’ll impress your employer with your initiative.

Check your employee handbook and see if you have 15-minute breaks during the day. Plenty of jobs that last eight hours a day (like the typical office job) have 15-minute breaks allotted to employees (it could be one or two). Utilize breaks if you have them; take a walk if the weather is nice, or reward yourself for almost ending the day with a treat from the cafe downstairs. Get some air. Regroup. You’ll feel much more energized, and the time will seem to go faster.

Hope that helps!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Dear Sadie,

I’m not gonna lie: My roommate is an absolute terror. I can’t stand her. She has her loud, obnoxious friends over ALL THE TIME, she uses my stuff without asking, and she’s soooo messy! I walked into the room last week, and she was using my hair dryer, and I swear she wore my favorite shirt because it’s missing from my closet! I don’t even know how they matched us up! We’re so different, and it’s driving me nuts. I can’t just ignore her because she lives, like, two feet away from me, but she’s driving me crazy! I need help ASAP!

Distressed Dianna

Dear Dianna,

If you haven’t already, you need to talk to your RA stat. While usually I’d advise that you try to work roommate issues out with the roommate in question, the fact that she’s been going through your things without your express permission is a bit alarming, and a room switch may be in order. I suggest investing in a locking chest (or something similar) for your belongings for the time being.

If you can’t get a room switch from University Housing, there are several things you can do to make your time living with her more bearable. For one, talking to her about not using your belongings without your permission is important. Try saying something like, “I’m not comfortable with you using my things without asking,” as a start.

Sitting her down and talking to her about times when both of you feel it’s fine to have guests over might also help. While to you her frequent guests seem obnoxious and inconsiderate, she may not know that just hanging out with her friends is bothering you so much. You didn’t once mention talking to her about it, and giving her the benefit of the doubt, she’s more than likely clueless about how you feel. Talking to her about it will make her think before she has her friends over at 3 a.m. next time.

Addressing the messiness factor, there’s really not much to do about that other than to keep your room as separate as possible. Unless she’s actually keeping the room dirty with food wrappers and smelly laundry, a little messiness on her side is not something you’re going to change. And unless her mess extends to common areas or your side of the room, you’re going to have to deal with it. It isn’t exactly fair to ask her to keep her own space up to your neatness standards.

If she is keeping the room dirty, however, then it’s time to talk to her about it due to concerns about smells, bugs and other unpleasantries that visit dirty rooms. In this case, it is best to address the topic tactfully. Outright calling her dirty will more than likely start an argument between the two of you, which is exactly what you don’t need. Asking things along the lines of keeping food waste out of the room is more than acceptable.

One last thing: While it may be difficult or awkward to bring up your issues with her as a roommate, talking to her is necessary. It will help clear the air and provide you a better living environment overall.

Best of luck!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

I think I chose the wrong major. I really loved chemistry before I came here, but I’m taking the classes now, and I just don’t see myself doing this for the rest of my life. I’m doing well in my classes, so it’s not that I’m failing or anything, but I just feel like they don’t interest me at all. I want to like what I do here. It’s tough, too, because my dad is a chemical engineer, and my parents were so excited when I told them that I wanted to do the same. I don’t want to disappoint them, but I don’t want to be doing something I don’t love for the rest of my life. How should I go about telling them that I’ve changed my mind about what I want to do?

Puzzled Paul

Dear Paul,

First and foremost, I’d like to point out that it is commendable that you recognize that what you’re doing doesn’t interest you, and even though it pleases your family, you’re willing to go about changing that. Lots of people would just stick to what makes their family happy regardless of how they feel, so congrats for going against the grain in favor of doing something that makes you happy.

The very first thing I’d suggest that you do is to schedule meetings with both your academic adviser and a career counselor, and take notes as to what their advice is. The career counselor can help to point you in a direction of career options that may be more suited to you and possible majors that lead to success in these fields. Your academic adviser will be able to help you find which credits will transfer to a new major, whether switching would be best for you in terms of graduating on time, what new major would be most interesting and useful to you, as well as rewrite a course of study designed for you.

After these meetings, it is a good idea to let your family know exactly how you feel about studying chemistry. Let them know that you thought that you were interested but were either mistaken or grew out of it because that’s simply not the case anymore. Let them know that you’d find a different subject intellectually stimulating and interesting and could see yourself enjoying that subject much more. Talk about your meetings with your academic adviser and career counselor, and show them your notes. Explain exactly why you want to change, and mention how much happier you’ll feel doing something that’s not chemistry. I’m sure they’ll understand.

Your family loves you, and I promise that they’d rather see you happy than miserable, which is just what will end up happening if you continue studying and giving years of your life to a subject that does not interest you. Talk to them openly and honestly, and I’m sure you’ll be much happier for it.

Best of luck!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Dear Sadie,

I have a dilemma: My friends are fighting, and I’m caught in the middle of it! So the story goes like this: My two best friends and I are inseparable — we do everything together! We’ve all known one another since high school, our moms are all friends, and nothing’s ever challenged our being friends until now. My one friend (we’ll call her A) broke up with her long-term boyfriend about two months ago. Fast forward to now, and A has found out that our other friend (we’ll call her B) has been sort-of dating him. B feels as though they broke up, and that’s the end of it, and that A has no claim on him. A feels as though dating someone she was so recently involved with is a slap in the face. As you can see, this is clearly a problem. A doesn’t want to hang out with B anymore and doesn’t like that I’m still friends with her. B doesn’t like when I hang out with A because she feels as though it automatically means I’m taking A’s side. I am trying my hardest not to take anyone’s side. The way I see it, I am in no way involved in this and shouldn’t have to pick sides if this isn’t my fight in the first place. How do I stay neutral in this whole thing and still keep both my friends?

Caught-in-the-Middle Carla

Dear Carla,

There’s no clear, clean-cut solution to this problem, I’m afraid. The pretty, PC answer says, “Tell both of your friends that this isn’t your problem and to leave you out of it — respectfully, of course — and continue on as normal.” In the real world, that isn’t really a solution. To your friend A, you are continuing to be buddy-buddy with someone she feels hurt and disrespected her. This is magnified due to the fact that all three of you were pretty close. Right now, A feels betrayed by one of her closest friends — to her, you wanting to continue to be friends with someone who did this to her makes you just another person who is betraying her.

To be honest, B may really like this guy and feel like she really is doing nothing wrong. She and A’s ex-boyfriend may really have a lot in common. Whatever the deal, there’s a reason she’s dating the ex-boyfriend of someone she’s so close to — don’t just write off her choice as her being mean or hurtful. Instead, I would suggest that when things cool off in the coming weeks that you have both of them (A and B) sit down and talk about things. Have A tell B how B’s dating her recent ex made her feel, and have B explain herself. Do this only if you think the friendship between the two of them is salvageable. Having everything out in the open, in a nonconfrontational and honest way, could be a start to repairing the friendship between them and you.

If you feel that there is no hope of their rekindling and that your trio is forever split, do not attempt to hang out with them together; hang out with each separately. My one warning with this is to be sure that all parties involved know this is happening. Otherwise it may seem like you’re “fraternizing with the enemy.” If one girl seems upset at this, calmly explain to her that you are not involved in this situation. Then don’t talk about it again. More than likely, one is not going to stop being friends with you because you still talk to the other, and if she would, you might want to evaluate why you were friends in the first place.

To end, my advice is to have your friends sit down and talk it out — only if they don’t seem to hate each other. Have A tell B how much B’s dating her ex-boyfriend hurts her and why — maybe he broke her heart, or maybe she just isn’t ready to have to see him dating someone else already, especially someone so close to her. Have B explain her motives. See if a compromise might be reached: — the boy in question is never mentioned among you all, or something similar. If you feel that the friendship between them is not salvageable, hang out with your friends separately. Make sure that everyone is aware of the arrangement, and don’t make anything of it. Do note, however, that doing this may cause either of them to confide in you less — if they dislike one another, or if there’s bad blood between them, they might not be very willing to be open about their true feelings with you. If this is OK with you, then proceed to be friends.

All the best,

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Dear Sadie,

Recently my moods have been swinging horribly. It’s been happening for a few months, but only lately has it been causing rifts in some of my close relationships. It isn’t like a “one moment I’m happy, the next I’m sad” swing, but more of a “someone said something that wouldn’t normally bother me, but that, for some reason, just pissed me off a whole lot” swing. My boyfriend says he feels that he has to be cautious around me with the things he says lest I freak out on him, and I’ve realized that my friends seem to be pulling away from me. Do you have any advice for keeping my moods in check?

Thanks in advance,

Moody Maura

Dear Maura,

I know that you asked for advice on how to keep your moods in check, but I feel that I am thoroughly unqualified to answer that. If we were dealing with a simple temperament problem, I would gladly help, but the fact that you say that your moods shift suddenly, and that this has only been happening recently, suggests that the problem is much deeper than it seems. Rather than only looking for ways to settle your moods, I implore you to talk to a counselor about this. The Counseling Center offers walk-in hours at its office in Creese. They’ll be able to give you the kind of professional advice that I can’t.

Wishing you the best of luck,

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

What is Greek life all about? I’m going to assume that it isn’t necessarily what the media portrays (just like college isn’t), and that I should take everything I’ve been told about it by others with a grain of salt. You seem pretty unbiased, so rather than turn to people I know who are part of Greek life or people who are opposed to it entirely, I thought you might offer me a good, impartial picture of what Greek life entails.

Also, are you involved in Greek life? Just wondering.

Curious Carl

Dear Carl,

I’m going to give you one of those annoyingly ambiguous answers that seems really obvious, a little contrived and a bit frustrating if you were searching for a concrete answer: Greek life is what you make of it. Just like college life is different for everyone, the same can be said of Greek life.

Kudos to you for not falling trap to stereotypes and generalizations that follow Greek life and for being cautious of what might be said about it before you find out truths for yourself. By definition, fraternities and sororities are groups of men and women that come together as members of an organization organized for social, academic or extracurricular purposes. That said, Greek life is not “like” one thing, and everyone’s experiences with it are different. For one person, joining Greek life might be a fantastic networking tool that also comes with a sense of camaraderie. For others it might simply give them something to do on the weekends. Everyone’s goals and expectations of his or her given organization is bound to differ, and thus everyone’s experiences will be different.

My advice if you want a more in-depth look at Greek life: Talk to your friends who are affiliated with Greek organizations. Ask them what their experiences have been like and whether or not they’d still join if they could go back in time. Find out their reasons for joining and their reasons for staying affiliated. Ask them to be unbiased in what they tell you, and I’m sure you’ll find just what you’re looking for.

As to whether or not I’m Greek affiliated, I’ll keep that a secret.

All my best,

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

I want to get more involved on campus, but I feel that at this time of the year, most groups aren’t open to newcomers. What do you think I should do to get more involved in Drexel as soon as possible?

New Nora

Dear Nora,

It’s awesome that you want to get involved; it makes my little Dragon heart feel all fuzzy. As for groups being closed off to people this time of year — nonsense! Groups are always, always, ALWAYS looking for new people! New people add new spice, new ideas and (most importantly) new perspectives to things campus groups are involved in. It’s never too late to join in on the campus fun.

If you want to get more involved with Drexel University programs specifically, something you might want to look into is becoming an Orientation Leader. It’s a great way to learn about the University, meet great people and help incoming students get introduced to the campus, and the application process starts soon. You could also look into becoming a Peer Leader  or go to any club meeting you’d like — anything! There are so many ways to get involved on campus, and I know you’ll have a ball discovering them.

Have fun!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Got a question? Got a problem? Bored and want someone to listen? Just wanna talk about cats? Send any and everything to me at Sadie@thetriangle.org! I promise, your letters keep me sane. My name’s Sadie Samson, by the way, and I’m an undergraduate student here at Drexel University. I love to write, listen and give my opinion, so ask away!

Dear Sadie,

I’m meeting my boyfriend’s parents next week for the first time, and I am freaking out! He’s sort of a (without being mean!) momma’s boy, and I’m sure that if his mom doesn’t like me, he’ll start to think twice about us. I like him a lot, and even though we haven’t been going out very long, I really, really want us to work out. Now, for some irrational reason, I am just convinced that his mom won’t like me. Any pointers on how to impress his parents when I meet them (specifically his mom)? Any and all help is greatly appreciated!

Nervous Natalie

Dear Natalie,

Have confidence in yourself! The guy you’re with likes you enough to want to introduce you to his parents — that right there means that you’re already likeable and bound to impress them! Just be yourself (yes, I went all mom-advice on you, sue me), and I’m sure you’ll do just fine.

If you’re still nervous, a few things you can do to ensure the best “meeting-date” with the parentals: Dress modestly, don’t talk about controversial subjects, don’t make sweeping generalizations (you never know who they know) about a group of people, mind your P’s and Q’s, try not to talk politics if possible, laugh at their jokes (don’t overdo it, though) and be genuinely interested in them. Basically, be on your best “Great-Aunt-Millie’s-Coming-To-Town-So-Mom-Insists-You-And-The-House-Be-Prim-As-Can-Be” behavior and you’ll do fine; but don’t worry! Don’t be nervous, and try to act as naturally as possible. Take deep breaths, and tell yourself a joke in your head if that helps you calm down if you get too nervous meeting them.

That said, I’m sure that even if your guy’s mom doesn’t like you, it won’t mean the end of your relationship. He likes you for you, not for his mother’s approval, regardless of his momma’s boy status. Unless she catches a whiff of a serious drug addiction or other issue she has like that with you and brings it up to him, rest assured that she doesn’t have to be absolutely in love with you for the relationship to continue. And besides: If he would insist on breaking things off because of his mom, you are better off without him.

Best of luck!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

Hi, there! I’m a transfer student here at Drexel University, new for this term and new to the city. What are your suggestions regarding Philly, making friends and other such things? I’m not super shy or anything, just curious as to what you’d say would be the best way to branch out and meet people as a newbie here. I’m not a freshman, if that changes anything, and I don’t live in the dorms.

Thanks!

New-In-Town Nora

Dear Nora,

Welcome to Drexel! Hope you like it here so far. Philly is a wonderful city full of things to do, places to go, concerts and films to go see, and cheap, delicious food — it truly is amazing. In terms of getting to know the city, I’d suggest walking to start. Taking a group with you and going by day, take a walk down Market or Chestnut Street from campus until you hit 15th Street. That’ll introduce you to Center City, a really neat place with a ton of shops and restaurants, as well as used bookstores (my favorite!), sushi bars and hoagie shops along the way. From there you’ll learn to (safely) explore the city and discover your own favorite places to chill and hang out.

In terms of making friends, I’d suggest joining a group or intramural sport that you’re interested in. It’s perfect for meeting people with similar interests as you. Talking to people before class is another great way to meet people, as is talking to the people sitting next to you (so long as the professor’s not talking!), so get chatting. You never know who might be your new best friend! Check out volunteer groups on campus and writing workshops if those sorts of things float your boat — you’ll meet people there who enjoy the things you do! Also, check out Greek life — it isn’t for everyone, but it is a great way to meet and connect with people.

Also, don’t forget to stay friends with the people from your old school. Just because you’re here doesn’t mean you have to start completely anew! Invite them to the city for the day and plan trips to visit them, and have them meet all your new Dragon friends!

Best of luck!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?!

The Wondering Honey Badger

Dear Badger,

I believe that (and correct me if I’m wrong): A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Correct?

Might I ask as well: why is a badger wondering about the hypothetical implications of a woodchuck’s wood chucking capabilities?!

Best!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Got a question? Send it to me at Sadie@thetriangle.org! My name’s Sadie Samson, and I’m an undergraduate student at Drexel University. I love to write, listen and give my opinion, so ask away!

Dear Sadie,

Happy Holidays! Hope you had a good break. I’m writing to ask for a bit of advice: My boyfriend and I broke up a bit before Christmas. It’s been a few weeks now, and I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to get over it — it’s all I can think about! I really want to call him, maybe talk about things a bit? I don’t know. School starts soon, so that’ll help me take my mind off things, but I was wondering what you would advise for getting over someone quickly.

Heartbroken for the “Holly”-days

Dear Holly,

Happy Holidays to you, too! I’ll admit, I’m a bit at a loss as to how to transition into talking about this (do I say, ‘Sorry, that sucks, now here’s some advice?’) so I’m just going to jump right in: Treat this breakup like the beginning of something new for you. Surround yourself with hobbies, fill up your calendar with lunch dates with your friends, hit the city by yourself — have fun. Don’t give yourself time to think and overanalyze the things that went wrong, and for the love of Mario, don’t dwell on “what ifs.” Not yet, anyway. No doubt you’re going to replay the relationship over and over in your mind regardless, filling up your schedule and limiting the time that you have to primarily focus on it will make you feel better in the long run.

Now, you mention wanting to call your ex to talk. This is normal — you were with the guy in a close relationship, and it’s expected that you are going to miss him. But now your job is not to call him. Right now both of you are cooling down from the breakup of a serious relationship, and talking now might ruin any chance you might have at a friendship (if you’d be willing to have one) if things are said out of anger and resentment for the split. One of you might feel more hurt by the breakup, or still want a second chance, or whatever the case may be, such that the two of you might not be eye to eye on things. Emotions are bound to be running high right now between the two of you, and unless you are sure beyond a reasonable doubt that both of you are on the same page and have both come to terms with things, do not call or contact him lest one of you says something you don’t mean.

Instead, focus on you, your own growth, and reconciling the fall of the relationship in your head. Forgive him and yourself if necessary. Let things go. Be at peace with how things are, however long it takes. Don’t dwell on the relationship. Take the good from it and leave the rest, treating it as an overall positive (I’m assuming that you all didn’t have a completely tumultuous relationship) experience that has helped to shape the person you are today. Even if you never see or talk to him again, working to clear your mind of anger will make you feel better in the long and short term. Forgiving him will allow you to avoid making the mistake of implanting negative thoughts in the memory of the entire relationship but will allow you to see it for what it was and move on.

So, long story short: Fill your schedule up so you don’t have time to think negative thoughts, don’t call him until you both have had enough time and space, and let the bad things go.

Hope that helps!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

This is kind of a random problem, and I’m not sure it’s much of an issue, but I’m going through what I’ve deemed a “mini” life crisis. I feel like all of my friends know what they want to do with their lives, but I don’t, and it’s making me freak out. Every time someone mentions how much they want to be a doctor or an engineer, I think about how much I don’t have a clue what I want to be. I don’t know why, but I just can’t think of anything that grabs me enough to warrant me declaring it my life’s professional goal. I guess what I’m asking is: How can I figure out what it is I want to do in life? I obviously missed that lesson somewhere in high school.

Thanks in advance,

Directionless Dan

Dear Dan,

Don’t fret! This is college, and this is the time to explore what it is that you might want to do for the rest of your life, and the things you absolutely will not do for the rest of your life. Note that I said might do, instead of will? That’s because even your friends who are declaring that they will absolutely do what it is they say that they want to do aren’t completely sure. Adults aren’t sure, and many have more than a few career changes throughout their lifetimes, switching industries, positions and locations. So, no worries.

Just pay attention in class and talk to your professors about subjects that interest you. Something will catch your eye eventually (I promise!), and when it does, a quick search on jobs and career paths in the field will help you set your sights in a general direction.

Best of luck!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Dear Sadie,

I’m not generally an awkward person, but after a couple months as a freshman in college, I’ve learned one thing: I’m terrible at dating. I’m not an ugly guy by any means — some would even say I’m an attractive, athletic dude — and I have no problem making friends and meeting new people. But when it comes to actually going out with women (mostly other college freshmen), I always, always, always mess it up in some spectacularly messy fashion.

For example, one time when going to the movies with a chick from my English class, not only did we show up at the wrong time, but the first thing I asked when we got there was whether she wanted to go “halfsies” or not, which of course instantly threw her into a sour mood and made the night awkward and hardly bearable. This is just an example, but what I’m trying to get at here is that these things happen quite often. I don’t employ the right etiquette in certain settings, I stand too close to her, I stand too far from her, I don’t show enough interest in what she’s saying, I show too much interest in what she’s saying, etc. I don’t know what I need. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,

Clueless Casanova

You need to relax. Big time. Right now, you’re thinking so much about making things go smoothly on dates that you’re saying things and acting in ways that don’t necessarily reflect how and what you want to act and say. While it may seem counterintuitive, the perfect date does not come from attempting to make the date perfect as you go, but from being your absolute self while someone else is being their absolute self and enjoying your time together because of it. So don’t worry about standing too close or saying the right things, and just enjoy your time out with someone you want to get to know better.

That said, don’t completely not think when out on dates — remember to be considerate. Asking someone to go “halfsies” as soon as you get to your date destination is not only inconsiderate, but it is presumptuous. The girl you were out with may never have even expected you to pay her way and probably wasn’t even thinking about money when you brought it up. We may be in a recession, but that’s no excuse for rudeness. From here on out, either establish well before you go out who will be paying for the evening or assume that the person who did the asking will pay. This will keep the confusion to a minimum. No one will feel insulted, and the two of you will be left to enjoy the evening.

On future dates, focus more on the person you’re out with as opposed to the amount of physical space between you two. One of you asked the other out for a reason, and the other agreed for a reason — so focus on those reasons, and the rest will follow. Do you find her sense of humor to be just like your own? Do you two enjoy the same obscure band? Whatever it was that drew the two of you into deciding to go on a date and learn more about the other is what should drive the evening. Mention whatever that thing that connects you is (even if you think it’s lame, like how much you hate English class or something), and conversation will naturally flow.

That said, listen and be interested to what she has to say, and actually engage her in conversation. After talking for a bit, you’ll be comfortable enough to stop worrying about proper date etiquette and really enjoy the date, which will make everything go smoother in general. Don’t approach the date like something you need to perfect and be awesome at, but as a chance to get to know the girl you’re out with on a more personable level than in a classroom environment — that’s the whole reason you’re on the date in the first place, after all!

You say that you have no problems meeting people and that you’re a likeable person, and so I’m going to assume that you have good people skills. Employ those skills here, in a date setting, and you’ll be just fine. Just think about how you make new friends and how you interact with the friends you already have. More than likely, it’s just a combination of you actually being interested in them as people and being yourself. Dating is no different in many ways — it’s just interacting with one friend that you “like-like” (Yes, I went back to third grade for that one), instead of lots of friends that you just like. Think of the girl you’re out with as a potential new friend (albeit, of a special, romantic kind), and you’ll find your dates much less awkward in no time.

So all in all: be yourself, take an active interest in your date, engage your date in conversation, decide how you’ll decide who pays before dates, treat going on dates as making a new “friend,” and you’ll be just fine.

Best of luck to you!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Got a question? Send it to me at Sadie@thetriangle.org! My name’s Sadie Samson, and I’m an undergraduate student here at Drexel University. I love to write, listen and give my opinion, so ask away!

Dear Sadie,

I have this friend; let’s call her “Chelsea.” Chelsea and I were pretty close friends for about a year or so freshman year, and now — nothing. We used to hang out all the time, and now I barely see her. When I do, she always suggests that we hang out, promises to text and then doesn’t. I’ll text her every now and then, and she either doesn’t respond or gives one-word responses. I have no idea what’s going on with her, but I still consider her a friend of mine and just wanted some advice from an objective place about the whole situation.

Confused Cathy

Dear Cathy,

First things first: Chelsea is a fake friend. Fake friends are not friends, and it’s as simple as that. Real friends mean it when they say they want to hang out, and they actually make plans to do so. It sounds to me like you and Chelsea aren’t friends at all anymore. Regardless of your past friendship with Chelsea, keep in mind that people and relationships do change. It may be tough to come to terms with, but though you and Chelsea may have been best friends once, you may not be anymore. And while you may want to remain her friend, she may not want the same, and you have to respect this.

There’s an old, cliche saying that suggests that if you let someone go and they come back, they were yours all along, and if not, you never had them anyway. I won’t go so far as to suggest that if you stop trying to be Chelsea’s friend and she completely falls out of contact with you that you two were never truly friends. However, I will say that it might mean that your relationship has evolved (or devolved, depending on how you look at it) to a point where there is no friendship.

I’d suggest evaluating your relationship with Chelsea thoroughly and looking at the reasons why you still consider her a friend. Are you only looking at the past and not acknowledging how things have changed between you two as time has gone on? Why is it that she never initiates contact? Friendship is a two-way street, after all.

Be completely honest with yourself, and remember that acknowledging that you were once great friends does not guarantee that you always will be.

Best of luck!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

My boyfriend and I are long-distance, and it’s killing me. He goes to school back home (I live about four hours away), and it’s super tough. In the past two months, I’ve seen him in person only three times, and two of those times ended with us arguing. I really do care about him, and I want to make this work, but I just can’t see it going anywhere from here. We get into petty arguments over the phone, things get misinterpreted and he has severe trust issues. Any advice on making this work out better than it is?

Lovesick Lola

Dear Lola,

First step: Breathe. Think about why you’re in this relationship and why you want to make it work. You say you care a lot about him, and that’s great. Write down or think of other things that remind you why you’re in this relationship in the first place, and it will instantly make things a bit easier.

Secondly, think about your past few arguments. What have they been about? How did they start? If they’re about the same thing, plan to discuss the matter calmly up front the next time you meet in person, and resolve the issue as soon as possible. If they’re just petty arguments, it could be that you two are just working through the regular annoyances that come with being in a relationship, though magnified since you see one another less.

When you aren’t seeing someone in person, communication can often get misinterpreted , and you can feel like there is a disconnect between you two. Combat this by thinking the next time he says something that could be taken several ways and by asking him what exactly he meant of it. You both are probably frustrated, not just with being long-distance, but with schoolwork, so remember that the next time you seem annoyed at one another.

You mention that your boyfriend has severe trust issues: What does this mean? Does he constantly ask you where you’re going and who you’re going with? If so, this probably is less a trust issue as it is trying to stay connected to you while he isn’t there. Tell him how you feel about his prodding, if this is the case, and he’ll surely oblige you if it makes you feel uncomfortable. If he seems annoyed by the fact that you’re hanging out with friends or constantly asking about one friend in particular when there is no reason for him to distrust either of you, your issues run deeper. Again, as with whatever it is you two might be arguing about, you need to resolve this in person. Ask him what it is that makes him unable to trust you completely, and explain that in order to stay together, especially when you won’t be seeing much of one another, you have to have his trust.

I wish you the best of luck and believe that if you two are right for one another, you’ll be able to work things out.

Best of luck!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Got a question? Send it to me at Sadie@thetriangle.org! My name’s Sadie Samson, and I’m an undergraduate student here at Drexel University. I love to write, listen and give my opinion, so ask away!

Dear Sadie,

I am completely and totally socially awkward to the point where I avoid meeting new people because I know I’m going to say something that I shouldn’t. Talking to people is a nightmare — I constantly say things I wish I could take back, and awkward silences are kind of my life. Something about my sense of humor just seems to put people off — whenever I say something funny, it feels like everyone always breaks into this awkward mix of silence and uncomfortable laughter. I really don’t mean to make people feel uncomfortable all the time — it just happens! I don’t know what to say or do to change it. Any advice? I just want to make friends and not be awkward anymore — help!

Socially Awkward Penguin

Dear Socially Awkward Penguin,

It sounds to me like your so-called awkwardness is simply a problem of impulsiveness. You mention constantly saying things and wishing you could take them back, and that your humor is often taken in ways other than what you intended, suggesting that perhaps you are speaking quicker than you can form complete responses to people. One way that this pattern might be remedied is to think thoroughly before you speak. I don’t just mean to formulate a response before you give it: I mean to think about your audience and how they might react to what you’re going to say. Is what you’re about to say offensive to anyone, even potentially? Are you with a group that doesn’t necessarily appreciate offensive humor? Taking into account your audience and becoming more aware of what makes people uncomfortable or not will make your “awkwardness” seem that much less apparent.

Also, taking the audience into account is important. Things that aren’t awkward when out with friends might be completely awkward at the dinner table. Being aware of this will most assuredly keep the awkward silences fewer.

On the subjects of meeting new people and making new friends, my advice is to be yourself and have confidence. Love your awkwardness, and don’t let it debilitate you. It is a way you choose to define yourself, so embrace it! I’m not saying become super-mega awkward; I’m just saying to feel at ease with yourself, however awkward you think you are. Talking and making friends becomes that much easier with just a bit of confidence.

So, in all, being mindful of where you are and who you’re with (and how things you say might be taken) will surely help in combating the awkwardness you seek to change. Accepting yourself for who you are will give you the sense of confidence that everyone else will see, and will make talking to new people and making new friends much simpler and easier.

Best of luck!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

I’m always curious as to any techniques to get rid of the hiccups that I haven’t heard of (Who hasn’t heard the “scare them away” trick?), to try out when I actually do get them. So just curious, Sadie: How would you advise getting rid of the hiccups?

Curious Chris

Dear Chris,

I love this question! And I’m also often curious about how folks get rid of them, since there are so very many different ways to do it. While I personally tend to wait out hiccups until they’re gone (100 percent failproof, if tragically unexciting), I’ve heard a variety of other things that may or may not work. One I’ve heard people swear by is having a friend cover your ears tightly while you drink water slowly. I have no idea what this does, but people say it works like a charm.

Another trick is drinking water slowly, past a hiccup — that is, drink water from a cup, and don’t stop until after you’ve hiccupped while drinking. Sounds complicated, I know, but people swear by it! They also swear by holding your breath past a hiccup, so if you’ve got the lung capacity of a rhino, go for it. A spoonful of sugar is said to help as well, though I can’t say I’d think this one would work as well as ones where you breathe slowly.

One last trick is to breathe slowly with your head hanging upside down off of something like a bed. I honestly can say I have no idea what the upside-down thing does, but it might be worth a shot!

So, Chris, I hope you’ve found these suggestions interesting. I must note, however, that I am not a medical professional by any means, and that if your hiccups are lasting particularly long or hurt when they happen or are otherwise alarming (in all the ways hiccups can be particularly alarming), please get yourself to a real medical doctor. They’ll be able to help you far more than I ever could. Also, I can’t guarantee that any of these hiccup-busting techniques will give you any success, so try them at your own risk of not getting rid of the hiccups. If any do happen to work exceptionally well, though, write back and let me know!

Best of luck!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Dear Sadie,

I think I chose the wrong major. I really loved chemistry before I came here, but I’m taking the classes now, I just don’t see myself doing this for the rest of my life. I’m doing well in my classes, so it’s not that I’m failing or anything, but I just feel like they don’t interest me at all. I want to like what I do here. It’s tough too, because my dad is a chemical engineer, and my parents were so excited when I told them that I wanted to do the same. I don’t want to disappoint them, but I don’t want to be doing something I don’t love for the rest of my life. How should I go about telling them that I’ve changed my mind about what I want to do?

Puzzled Paul

Dear Paul,

First and foremost, I’d like to point out that it is commendable that you recognize that what you’re doing doesn’t interest you, and even though it pleases your family, you’re willing to go about changing that. Lots of people would just stick to what makes their family happy regardless of how they feel, so congrats for going against the grain in favor of doing something that makes you happy.

The very first thing I’d suggest that you do is to schedule meetings with both your academic adviser and a career counselor, and take notes as to what their advice is. The career counselor can help to point you in a direction of career options that may be more suited to you and possible majors that lead to success in these fields. Your academic adviser will be able to help you find which credits will transfer to a new major, whether switching would be best for you in terms of graduating on time, what new major would be the most interesting and useful to you, as well as rewrite a course of study designed for you.

After these meetings it is a good idea to let your family know exactly how you feel about studying chemistry. Let them know that you thought that you were interested but were either mistaken or grew out of it, because that’s simply not the case anymore. Let them know that you’d find a different subject intellectually stimulating and interesting, and could see yourself enjoying that subject much more. Talk about your meetings with your academic adviser and career counselor, and show them your notes. Explain exactly why you want to change, and mention how much happier you’ll feel doing something that’s not chemistry. I’m sure they’ll understand.

Your family loves you, and I promise that they’d rather see you happy than miserable, which is just what will end up happening if you continue studying and giving years of your life to a subject that does not interest you. Talk to them openly and honestly, and I’m sure you’ll be much happier for it.

Best of luck!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

Where are the best places to eat around here? Honestly, dining hall food and Chick-fil-A fries get old pretty fast. I’m working on a limited budget here too, so what places do you recommend (besides lunch trucks — I’ve already been to practically all the ones on campus) around Philly (preferably around campus, but they don’t have to be) that are college-kid budget-friendly but also tasty?

Thanks in advance!

Hungry Henry

Dear Henry,

Good, cheap food is one of Philly’s main commodities! The city is chock full of awesome places that give you plenty of food for reasonable prices. If you haven’t been already, one of my favorite places to eat that’s just off campus on Lancaster Avenue is Sava’s Brick Oven Pizza. Their pasta — oh my. Great prices and huge portions make a happy belly, and you’re guaranteed to leave happy from this place. Another great place to check out is El Rey’s, which is at 20th and Chestnut street. Their nachos are literally the best I’ve ever had (they make the chips when you order. I repeat: they make the chips when you order), and they’ve got classic Coca-Cola (made with real sugar, not sweeteners!) to boot. Go during their happy hour to snatch up dollar tacos and reduced price entrees (including the nachos!) — you’ll be glad you did.

Outside of that, pizza shops are usually quite reasonable and tasty. Two bucks for a huge slice of heaven and grease in triangular form? Yes, please. My favorites around campus that sell by the slice (in no particular order) are Village Pizza, Ed’s and Sava’s (if you can’t tell, I love that place).

But don’t feel limited to these places! Explore Philly! Center City is full of delis and shops that sell great food for dirt cheap. Going to places during their happy hour is also a way to score cheap food because restaurants with bars generally offer entrees and such at reduced prices then. Check out some of Philadelphia’s food blogs like Grub Street, Foobooz and Yum Marks the Spot for inspiration. Campusphilly.org even offers student discounts on plenty of restaurants throughout the city. Have fun and happy eating!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Dear Sadie,

I feel swamped — completely! We’re only in the middle of the quarter, and I already feel like I’m tanking in all of my classes. I feel like I have a million papers, projects and exams without enough time to do it all. I study all the time, and I’m still not getting the grades I want. At this point it’s too late to drop my courses, but I’m afraid of getting a horrible GPA this quarter — help!

Don’t-Wanna-Fail Farrah

Dear Farrah,

First, take a deep breath. Relax. We’re just hitting the middle of the quarter, and there is still time to salvage even the most abysmal of grades. Were it week 7 or 8 and you were worried about failing, it might be too late, but as of right now, when folks are still taking their first round of midterms, there is still a lot to be done. First things first: I’d make appointments with your academic adviser and your professors as soon as possible. Your academic adviser is assigned based on your major and has experience working with students on the same track as you. He or she will definitely be able to help you decide which classes to take next quarter to avoid feeling swamped while  guaranteeing that you’ll graduate on time. Talking to your professors and seeing what they recommend you do to succeed in their classes will also be beneficial — they are the ones determining your grade, after all, and in many cases they have been teaching the course for years.

Find tutors. I can’t stress enough the good a proper tutor can do for grades that seem impossible to bring up. You say that you study all the time but still don’t get the grades you’d like to get. A tutor can help point you in the right direction by examining your study techniques to make them more effective. To find a good tutor, ask your friends who have already taken the class, contact your professors, and be sure to check out the various resource centers around campus — they can be a huge help, trust me.

So be sure to talk to your professors and your academic adviser, and seriously consider employing a tutor — it could be the turnaround you need academically to get the grades you want!

Wishing you luck on your midterms and projects!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

Coming to college, I’ve been slightly overwhelmed with all of the drinking my new friends are doing over the weekends. I don’t mind going to parties and hanging out with them, but I’ve never been into drinking myself, so I am left just slightly out of place. The thing that bugs me most is that a majority of my high school friends who, a year ago, would have declined even a wine cooler, now want nothing more than cheap beer and booze to occupy their free time. Regardless of what they may say, starting a new habit of drinking does change a person. It is much harder to relate to my old friends and to find things to talk about and do when I see them. What advice can you give me in dealing with this new situation?

Sticking to Sober

Dear Sticking to Sober,

First, I’d like to commend you for staying true to yourself and not falling into the trap of peer pressure by joining in with your friends’ drinking just to fit in. Unfortunately, a lot of students just beginning college fall into drinking — not because they enjoy it but because their friends do it, so kudos for being ahead of the crowd.

Do remember, though, that you can’t change your friends or their new interests, just as they can’t change you. So while it may bug you that your friends drink now, they most likely won’t stop if you bring it up. Instead, you can stay connected to them by doing things that you all enjoy that have nothing to do with drinking, like seeing a movie or going to lunch. Keep the conversation alcohol-free so you don’t feel left out of it. If all they can talk about while you’re together is drinking, and you find that you have nothing more to talk about, you may want to re-evaluate why you call them your friends in the first place. You may also consider finding a new group of friends who share your values so that you won’t ever have to feel left out.

While it is unfortunate, sometimes feeling left out because you’re not drinking at a party may be unavoidable, especially when it seems like everyone there but you is doing it. Always feeling left out, however, is avoidable. There are plenty of things to do besides drink when you go out (meeting people, dancing, etc.), so don’t feel obligated to hang around doing nothing while your friends drink — this will only make you feel more and more left out. Think about what you like about going out, and do that instead of drink. You said you like going out, and if you don’t drink, there must be a sober reason you like to do it! Find out what attracts you to it, and occupy your time with that instead of drinking.

Once again, I commend you for knowing yourself and for being strong enough not to succumb to an activity just because the group is doing it. Keep your head up, and stay connected to your old friends by doing things you all enjoy.

Best of luck!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Got a question? Send it to me at Sadie@thetriangle.org! My name’s Sadie Samson, and I’m an undergraduate student here at Drexel University. I love to write, listen and give my opinion, so ask away!

Dear Sadie,

I know school just started, but I’m already feeling run down. I’m doing well in all my classes, am active in a couple of clubs on campus and have made great friends already, but I feel like I can’t enjoy it all feeling run down all the time. I can’t sleep in ever because I’ve got early classes, I study in the evening and on the weekends to keep my grades up, and time between classes is spent with friends. The quarter’s not even halfway up, and I can’t wait for winter break. I don’t know what I’m asking for exactly, but I need some sort of advice about how not to feel run down. Does that make sense? I want to enjoy college, not feel like I’m muddling through it!

Help!

Exhausted Emma

Dear Exhausted Emma,

For one, I must say congratulations on being able to balance a hectic schedule and still do well academically. School’s tough enough by itself at times, so hats off to you. Next, I have to say that while reading your letter, all I could think of was, “When do you ever spend time with yourself?” You talked about studying time, friend time and time for activities, but where’s the Emma time?

It’s easy to get totally absorbed in the hustle and bustle of schoolwork and activities and forget how important it is to schedule time for yourself just to breathe and to feel that when you are relaxing, you’re wasting time. Change this sort of view by scheduling time for yourself and sticking to it, as it is just as important as your other obligations. Try scheduling in a hobby — read a book for leisure concurrent with your reading for school, schedule empty time when you can just nap, take a walk, or whatever else pleases you throughout the week. To start, I’d say take at least an hour a day for yourself — it sounds like a lot to ask, but having time to be alone will certainly help with your feeling run down.

All that said, if you ever feel like you just aren’t yourself, or like you can’t shake away feelings of being run down no matter what you try, you may want to look into scheduling a session with a counselor at the Counseling Center. It’s free, confidential and may help you tremendously by allowing you a safe environment to talk about things that are bothering you.

Best of luck this year,

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

What are some ways to get involved on campus? And how do you know where is “right” for you? There are a ton of flyers everywhere, and I feel like at times I want to just join everything at once, but some older friends of mine have warned me against this so that my schoolwork doesn’t suffer. I have a ton of interests, so I really don’t know how to begin narrowing down what I should do. What do you think?

Excited Emily

Dear Emily,

Your friends are right. While it may be tempting, making a large amount of commitments to student groups and activities early, without really getting a feel for how much you need to study and devote to your classes, can be detrimental to your grades. That being said, it’s wonderful that you’re excited and interested in joining activities around campus! They are a wonderful way to meet people, gain an outlet and indulge in experiences you may not get otherwise.

In order to find the place that will give to you as much as you give to it, think about your hobbies and personality for a bit. Do you like discussion about things you’ve read? Writing about things you’ve seen? Are you competitive? Love to be outdoors? Narrowing these down will not only guide you as to what student organization you might enjoy, but what you might find most fulfilling in being part of that organization. If you’re good with event planning and love to dance, you may think about joining or starting an enthusiast group on campus.

College is an excellent time to broaden your horizons, as well. Don’t feel limited to joining groups that deal with things you’re passionate about — join one that catches your eye and interests you and makes you want to learn more. Just joining groups that are focused on things you already find interesting may limit the things you may discover — the possibilities are endless when you’re open to them!

All in all, I’d say to focus on not only your hobbies and interests but also your personality in determining which organizations you might look at joining, as well as what your role in said organizations might be. And don’t limit yourself. You may be surprised with what you find a keen interest in once you give it a try.

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Got a question? Send it to me at Sadie@thetriangle.org! My name’s Sadie Samson, and I’m an undergraduate student here at Drexel University. I love to write, listen and  give my opinion, so ask away!

Dear Sadie,

I’m not gonna lie: my roommate is an absolute terror. I can’t stand her. She has her loud, obnoxious friends over ALL THE TIME, she uses my stuff without asking and she’s soooo messy! I walked into the room last week and she was using my hairdryer, and I swear she wore my favorite shirt because it’s missing from my closet! I don’t even know how they matched us up! We’re so different, and it’s driving me nuts. I can’t just ignore her since she lives, like, two feet away from me, but she’s driving me crazy! I need help, ASAP!

Distressed Dianna

Dear Dianna,

If you haven’t, you need to talk to your RA stat. While usually I’d advise that you try and work roommate issues out with the roommate in question, the fact that she’s been going through your things without your express permission is a bit alarming, and a room switch may be in order. I suggest investing in a locking chest (or something similar) for your belongings for the time being.

University Housing usually doesn’t grant room switches for roommate conflict reasons until the end of the fall term, so until then, there are several things you can do to make your time living with her more bearable. For one, talking to her about not using your belongings without your permission is important. Try saying something like, “I’m not comfortable with you using my things without asking,” as a start.

Sitting her down and talking to her about times when both of you feel it’s fine to have guests over might also help. While to you her frequent guests seem obnoxious and inconsiderate, she may not know that just hanging out with her friends is bothering you so much. You didn’t once mention talking to her about it, and giving her the benefit of the doubt, she’s more than likely clueless about how you feel. Talking to her about it will make her think before she has her friends over at 3 a.m. next time.

Addressing the messiness factor, there’s really not much to do about that but to keep your room as separate as possible. Unless she’s actually keeping the room dirty with food wrappers and smelly laundry, a little messiness on her side is not something you’re going to change. And unless her mess extends to common areas or your side of the room, you’re going to have to deal with it. It isn’t exactly fair to ask her to keep her own space up to your neatness standards.

If she is keeping the room dirty, however, then it’s time to talk to her about it, due to concerns about smells, bugs, and other unpleasantries that visit dirty rooms. In this case, it is best to address the topic tactfully. Outright calling her dirty will more than likely start an argument between the two of you, which is exactly what you don’t need. Asking things along the lines of keeping food waste out of the room is more than acceptable.

One last thing: while it may be difficult or awkward to bring up your issues with her as a roommate, talking to her is necessary. It will help clear the air and provide you a better living environment overall.

Best of luck!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

I know you’re not a travel guide or anything, but I figured you’d know where some cool spots in Philly are — I’m tired of looking at Drexel’s campus all day and would love to explore! Of course, I’ve heard that not everywhere is entirely safe, nor worth the trip, so I just wanted to get your take on the best places in Philly.

Curious Cathy

Dear Cathy,

First of all: I love this question! I love Philly and think it’s a great, rich city ripe for exploring. And because the city is chock full of colleges and universities, a ton of restaurants, stores and bars offer discounts with a valid college ID. Check out www.campusphilly.org for discount listings and free stuff!

Now, what I’d call my favorite place in Philly depends on what I’m going out for. Shopping? Chestnut Street between about 15th and 19th street. Dining? Rittenhouse Square, hands down. Walking around, enjoying the city? South Street and Old City are tied. The Drexel Shuttle takes you to 15th and Race street, right in Center City around a ton of cool places, so take advantage of it. It is free, but unfortunately, it only runs during the week. Go with a group of friends during the day anytime you’re going someplace new, and be safe! If a street looks deserted and a little sketchy, it’s probably best to stay away. If there are a ton of restaurants and stores and the place is lively, you’re probably safe. Take the time to explore the surrounding city (walking down Market Street and Chestnut Street toward 15th Street is a great way to do this), and have fun!

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

Dear Sadie,

I’m really, really shy and not so good at making friends. I just don’t know what to talk about with other people I guess, which wasn’t a problem in high school when I had the same group of friends since elementary. Now, though, none of my old friends are here, and I’m totally lost as to where to start getting new ones. Everyone else seems to have this ease about talking to others that I just don’t have, and I’d really like not to spend my entire time here alone watching everyone else have a great time. Is there anything that you think can help me get over my shyness and complete inability to make friends?

Forever Alone,

Alan

Dear Alan,

The very first thing I’d like to do is ask you what you’re interested in or passionate about. Do you paint? Do you love movies? Are you an absolute book snob?  Does political talk make you giddy? Narrowing down your interests makes it easier to think about what groups you might like to get involved with on campus. Getting involved in an organized group is a great way to make friends, as well as a more structured way to meet people. Meeting others in a group setting also puts less pressure on you to figure out what to say to people. You’re all there for a common purpose that you’re interested in, so just talk about that.

Outside of organized groups, I’d say to not overthink what to say to potential friends, and (as terribly cliche as it sounds) just be yourself. It may be hard to make yourself feel at ease with new people, and you may feel pressured to say things or act in ways that are uncharacteristic to you, but it’s so, so, so much better if you don’t. Accept you for who you are, shyness and all, and know that everyone else will, too. This sounds like a menial thing, but I promise it’s not. People take notice when you’re self-assured.

One last tidbit: make it a point to meet one new person every day. They don’t have to become your best friend, but it will make it easier to meet and befriend people as time goes on. Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone just once a day will make you feel more confident, more assured, and ultimately more at ease with going out and making friends. So, to that person sitting next to you in lecture hall, or the guy behind the cashier at Starbucks, or even your professor, say hello and introduce yourself! You never know who might be your next friend.

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

Everyone (even my professors) have been saying that classes here are super fast-paced and really tough. The first week hasn’t been so bad so far, but it is just the first week, and I’m still worried based on what everyone’s saying. Any tips on staying afloat here?

Worried Wanda

Dear Wanda,

Time management. Time management. Time management. Time management. Time management. Time management. Time management. Time management. management. Time management. Time management. Time management. Time management. Time management. Time management. Time management.

I can’t stress it enough. While it is important at every school to be on top of how you spend your time, it’s doubly important here due to the quick pace of the quarter system. If you don’t already have one, invest in a planner to keep track of classes, extracurriculars and study time. On that note, do schedule study time and stick to it like you would any commitment. It is all too easy in college to put off studying in lieu of hanging out or taking that extra nap, and here, not giving enough time to studying is one of the quickest ways to fall behind.

Get a study group going if you work best with others. If you don’t, find a quiet space where you can go and study. The library’s full of them, as is Penn’s bookstore. Find a few people in each of your classes so that you’re always up to date if you have to miss a class and need notes, or if you have a question that you don’t want to take to your professor just yet. Set deadlines for yourself to keep yourself on schedule in classes (i.e., Finish chapters 2 through 4 by this weekend) and stick to them. Look over assignments when they are given and not just before they’re due: even though that paper may be due in week 5, it can’t hurt to start researching background for it now.

Another really good thing to do is to go to either your professor or your TA’s office hours. Beyond being a good way to meet the people/person teaching you, it’s an excellent way to get personal clarification on things you may have issues with, as well as a way to get firsthand advice about success in the class from the best source to get it from. Find out how much time per week they feel should be invested into study time for the class, how students in the past have done on certain aspects of the material, and even talk to them about your progress in the class. It can be a great way to open up future research opportunities, as well, to boot.

In all, managing your time, finding a way to study that works best for you and getting in touch with your professors are all very helpful in ensuring success here.

Sadie

The post Sadie Says appeared first on The Triangle.

advice@thetriangle.org

About Me

Hey there! My name’s Sadie Samson, and I’m an undergraduate student here at Drexel University. I love to write, listen and give my opinion, so ask away!

Dear Sadie,

I’m going to be an incoming freshman student in the fall, and I’m really nervous about leaving everything behind. I’m really excited to come to college. Don’t get me wrong: it’s just that as we get closer and closer to move-in, I get more and more nervous about living on my own, and I find myself almost wanting just to stay home. Since that’s not really an option right now, I was wondering if you had any advice that could help me not be so stressed out about the whole thing. I want to be happy my first year, not wallowing for home!

Nervous Nelly

Dear Nelly,

The transition to college is one of the biggest transitions you’ll probably have to experience in life, so it’s completely natural to feel apprehensive about it. I’ll let you know a little secret: I was absolutely terrified when I first got here. So terrified, in fact, that my first night in college after I moved in, I didn’t go meet anyone. Instead, I locked my door and walked around my room, bawling my eyes out and unpacking my entire life onto my half of the tiny dorm room. I wanted nothing more than to call my parents, have them turn the car around, pick me up and never look back. It had only been a few hours since they’d left me, and I was already homesick. It looked to be the beginning of something miserable.

I was terrified, nervous, shell-shocked — all those things that come along with big changes. All of a sudden, I felt like I wasn’t ready for college, like all the excitement I’d felt at coming here had flown out the window. Above everything else, I felt alone.

That is, until I found a group of friends here. They made me realize that I wasn’t alone in any way; we were all going through the same exact thing. We were all a bit nervous, a bit scared, and all just wanting to feel like we weren’t alone. I promise you that the same will hold up for you, Nell.. You’ll find a group of amazing friends here, and in doing so will find a sense of home here.

Speaking of home, you don’t have to think of coming to college as “leaving everything behind” — you can decorate your side of your room with pictures of your friends and family, have Skype dates with your friends from back home, have your friends come visit you, and go visit them. Coming to college is just another step on the road to growing up — think of it as an extension of the places you call home now, not a guillotine to your life back home.

Ultimately, my advice to you is to breathe easy and remember that almost every single person who’ll be moving in with you (roommates, classmates and everyone in between) will be going through the same thing. Everyone’s nervous, wants to make friends and wants to have a great time here. When you’re feeling a bit down about being on your own the first time, remember that  there are a ton of people waiting to be your friend and to explore all the great things college has to offer right alongside you. Wishing you a great year!

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

My boyfriend and I are on opposite co-op cycles, and he got his co-op with a biotech company up in Maine for the fall while I’ll be here in Philly taking classes. It’s a wonderful opportunity for him, and I’m really very happy and proud for him, but I can’t help but be a little bit wary about what becoming long distance might mean for us. Everyone says that if it’s meant to be, our relationship will stay strong no matter what, but there’s got to be more to it than that. Any pointers on what I can do to make this whole long-distance thing run a bit smoother?

Soon-To-Be-Long-Distance Laura

Dear Laura,

Ah, long-distance relationships. Like any relationship, those having a bit of distance require creativity, commitment, and above all, communication. Since you won’t be seeing each other as often as you do now, it is important to establish lines of communication prior to being separated. Will you be texting a lot? Calling every night? Skype dates twice a week? Answering these questions early on will help to keep the two of you connected, while giving a sense of order to a situation that at times is bound to feel chaotic.

In addition to staying connected while apart, keeping things creative when you are and aren’t together will certainly cultivate the bond between both of you and keep the relationship as strong as it’s ever been. How about surprising him with a letter in the mail? Baking cookies and taking them up with you on the Megabus next time you visit him? Speaking of visiting, make sure to have scheduled times to see each other in person when possible. These short visits make the push through until you two are reunited that much more bearable.

Be sure to be honest and open with one another; make sure the two of you are clear about when you expect to see one another, if problems arise, and when you can expect to be together again.

Sadie

P.S. Count the weekends until you see him instead of the days. It makes the time pass a lot quicker, I promise!

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