Every time I go to Chipotle, I have a stratagem for how I ask for my burrito. Some people don’t realize that you can ask for more of the ingredients they offer. If you are going to pay $7 or $8 for a burrito, you might as well make it worth your hard-earned (or hardly earned) money.
In an ideal situation with a shorter line, I ask for both beans (yes, both. This is America, for Lincoln’s sake!). A long time ago, their pinto beans had pork bits in the mixture, and Chipotle either wasn’t making enough money on them or realized there were people who didn’t want pork in their burritos.
For rice, it depends on how I feel. I usually stick with one scoop of either brown or white, but sometimes I feel adventurous or emaciated and do double duty.
When you get to the “humane meat” section, do me a favor, and ask for the sofritas — it’s tofu, spices and deliciousness without the “mooing” or “oinking” or “clucking.” Or, be a real thrifty human and skip the protein, because then you’ll get a scoop of guacamole for free.
Salsas come next, and if you’ve got some hair on your arms, ask for all of them. The mild and medium salsas are chunkier and will “beef” up your burrito, while the hot salsa will make your head sweat. It’s basically a workout in a burrito.
I don’t do sour cream or corn. Sour cream is formed from bacterial fermentation of regular cream, which sounds funky and
not vegan.
I honestly don’t know anyone in my family who can digest corn either. Always do lettuce. It is not a waste, because it balances some of the hot salsa and adds a bit more crunch.
Now here comes the tricky part. To guacamole or not to guacamole? It is extra money, but, as Walter says to the Dude about his rug, “it really ties the room together.” I always get guacamole.
With the double beans, double rice, sofritas, triple salsa, lettuce and guacamole, they might have to put an extra tortilla wrap on the whole thing to encompass the burrito baby you just ordered. It’s a three serving burrito for one person.
If you know ahead of time you don’t like to deal with that mess of food or want to save the leftovers, start out with a burrito bowl and ask for a tortilla on the side—it’ll be heated and wrapped in aluminum foil.
The moral of this story is that you can do this not just at Chipotle, but also at lots of other restaurants.
Since you are not ordering the “main meat” of the dishes, you can ask for extra because for the one or two vegetarians a place will serve per day, the amount of vegetables you ask for will impact their budget very little.
Most times, restaurants are sadly throwing out food. The food trucks will put extra peppers on your sandwich, and sit down restaurants will give you sides usually for free that you can add to your salad or veggie burger. The key is to ask, because you should get the most out of your money as a vegetarian.
Unless the food is already wrapped and even then, ask for more. The worst that will happen is that someone will say no.
Most times, shop owners and workers are happy to accommodate. Now that is something to moo over!
Benjamin Sylvester is the president of the Drexel Animal Welfare Group. He can be contacted at [email protected].
“Moo Over This” publishes biweekly.