July 12, 2013 by Olivia Deng
Total time: varies
Prep: however long it takes to cultivate racism
Cook: however long it takes to enact racism
Yields: 1 serving
3 rotten eggs
1 cup blindingly white sauce (the whiter, the better)
2 cups powdered bigotry (preferred over flour)
1 teaspoon narrow-mindedness
⅓ cup hasty apologies
Infinite supply of butter
Prepare the batter by mixing 3 rotten eggs, 1 cup blindingly white sauce, and 2 cups powdered bigotry.
Brainwash and drench the chicken in batter.
Deep fry the chicken in butter.
Season the chicken with 1 tablespoon narrow mindedness.
Insert the foot of the chicken into its mouth.
Haphazardly chop the chicken into smithereens.
Sandwich the fried chicken between two sugary doughnuts. Make sure the saccharine, sugary doughnuts conceal and cover up the fried chicken as much as possible. Glaze the doughnuts with cup hasty apologies. Adorn the doughnuts with brightly colored sprinkles if desired.
These fried chicken sandwiches are best enjoyed lounging on a veranda overlooking a plantation with a tall glass of melted butter.
Olivia Deng is a freshman political science major at Drexel University. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.