Got a question? Got a problem? Bored and want someone to listen? Just wanna talk about cats? Send anything and everything to me at [email protected]! I promise, your letters keep me sane. My name’s Sadie Samson, by the way, and I’m an undergraduate student here at Drexel University. I love to write, listen and give my opinion, so ask away!
Dear Sadie,
I’m not gonna lie: My roommate is an absolute terror. I can’t stand her. She has her loud, obnoxious friends over ALL THE TIME, she uses my stuff without asking, and she’s soooo messy! I walked into the room last week, and she was using my hair dryer, and I swear she wore my favorite shirt because it’s missing from my closet! I don’t even know how they matched us up! We’re so different, and it’s driving me nuts. I can’t just ignore her because she lives, like, two feet away from me, but she’s driving me crazy! I need help ASAP!
Distressed Dianna
Dear Dianna,
If you haven’t already, you need to talk to your RA stat. While usually I’d advise that you try to work roommate issues out with the roommate in question, the fact that she’s been going through your things without your express permission is a bit alarming, and a room switch may be in order. I suggest investing in a locking chest (or something similar) for your belongings for the time being.
If you can’t get a room switch from University Housing, there are several things you can do to make your time living with her more bearable. For one, talking to her about not using your belongings without your permission is important. Try saying something like, “I’m not comfortable with you using my things without asking,” as a start.
Sitting her down and talking to her about times when both of you feel it’s fine to have guests over might also help. While to you her frequent guests seem obnoxious and inconsiderate, she may not know that just hanging out with her friends is bothering you so much. You didn’t once mention talking to her about it, and giving her the benefit of the doubt, she’s more than likely clueless about how you feel. Talking to her about it will make her think before she has her friends over at 3 a.m. next time.
Addressing the messiness factor, there’s really not much to do about that other than to keep your room as separate as possible. Unless she’s actually keeping the room dirty with food wrappers and smelly laundry, a little messiness on her side is not something you’re going to change. And unless her mess extends to common areas or your side of the room, you’re going to have to deal with it. It isn’t exactly fair to ask her to keep her own space up to your neatness standards.
If she is keeping the room dirty, however, then it’s time to talk to her about it due to concerns about smells, bugs and other unpleasantries that visit dirty rooms. In this case, it is best to address the topic tactfully. Outright calling her dirty will more than likely start an argument between the two of you, which is exactly what you don’t need. Asking things along the lines of keeping food waste out of the room is more than acceptable.
One last thing: While it may be difficult or awkward to bring up your issues with her as a roommate, talking to her is necessary. It will help clear the air and provide you a better living environment overall.
Best of luck!
Sadie
Dear Sadie,
I think I chose the wrong major. I really loved chemistry before I came here, but I’m taking the classes now, and I just don’t see myself doing this for the rest of my life. I’m doing well in my classes, so it’s not that I’m failing or anything, but I just feel like they don’t interest me at all. I want to like what I do here. It’s tough, too, because my dad is a chemical engineer, and my parents were so excited when I told them that I wanted to do the same. I don’t want to disappoint them, but I don’t want to be doing something I don’t love for the rest of my life. How should I go about telling them that I’ve changed my mind about what I want to do?
Puzzled Paul
Dear Paul,
First and foremost, I’d like to point out that it is commendable that you recognize that what you’re doing doesn’t interest you, and even though it pleases your family, you’re willing to go about changing that. Lots of people would just stick to what makes their family happy regardless of how they feel, so congrats for going against the grain in favor of doing something that makes you happy.
The very first thing I’d suggest that you do is to schedule meetings with both your academic adviser and a career counselor, and take notes as to what their advice is. The career counselor can help to point you in a direction of career options that may be more suited to you and possible majors that lead to success in these fields. Your academic adviser will be able to help you find which credits will transfer to a new major, whether switching would be best for you in terms of graduating on time, what new major would be most interesting and useful to you, as well as rewrite a course of study designed for you.
After these meetings, it is a good idea to let your family know exactly how you feel about studying chemistry. Let them know that you thought that you were interested but were either mistaken or grew out of it because that’s simply not the case anymore. Let them know that you’d find a different subject intellectually stimulating and interesting and could see yourself enjoying that subject much more. Talk about your meetings with your academic adviser and career counselor, and show them your notes. Explain exactly why you want to change, and mention how much happier you’ll feel doing something that’s not chemistry. I’m sure they’ll understand.
Your family loves you, and I promise that they’d rather see you happy than miserable, which is just what will end up happening if you continue studying and giving years of your life to a subject that does not interest you. Talk to them openly and honestly, and I’m sure you’ll be much happier for it.
Best of luck!
Sadie