You probably do not need any more reminders that it is that time of year again. Your eyes are flooded with red and pink nearly everywhere you look, the air seems filled with romance and hearts seem to be fluttering all around with even more passion than usual. In other words, the entire world seems to be conspiring to build a romantic atmosphere. You might find some of your friends, roommates or classmates buzzing with giddy yet nervous excitement about their dates as they ease the racing butterflies in their stomachs and think of the most special plans they can think of. Meanwhile, you might simply shake your head with an awkward smile when someone asks you about your Valentine’s Day plans.
Valentine’s Day has a way of underlining your relationship status, of making you even more conscious of the glowing couples you walk past on your way to class, of making you wonder why you just do not seem to have that kind of luck and possibly even of making you feel like a mere spectator to the joys that life has to offer. Even your favorite songs might hit a bit differently on this day, poking at inner hopes that remain untapped or unfulfilled.
Maybe all of this throws you back into a vortex of memories about someone who got away, someone you were certain you had already moved on from. On the other hand, maybe you have never experienced the dazzling whirlwind that is romance yet, and are craving to get a taste of it within the precious few years you have at college (because it really does fly by). As a college student with the world seeming to be laid out in front of you like never before, it is easy to feel like you are missing out, to think that “if not now, then when?”
However, as someone who has been through just about all of the above, I ask you to consider something. What if this is an opportunity? While your friends might be investing a great deal of time and energy into making sure their dates go perfectly, you get to have all of that time completely to yourself. It is easy to take this for granted and possibly even see it as undesirable, but if you think about it, this is not something that you get to have often. How many holidays really offer you this much time all to yourself? You may think that you have already spent enough time alone, but the fact is that if you do get in a relationship, you can find that the time and energy you have to really invest in yourself rapidly dwindles. So, while you do have this opportunity, make the most of it.
Make the decision to invest time in yourself, to shower yourself with attention and care and to make yourself feel like the most important person in the world, because if you really think about it, you are the most important person in your life. Yes, you can enjoy a breezy rom-com with yourself. Yes, you can buy a box of candy for yourself. Yes, you can visit a scenic spot by yourself. You can certainly indulge in your favorite hobby by yourself. You could even start to pursue a new one. It might feel odd to do some of these things alone at first, but once you unlock the ability to relish your own company, there is little else that can match the sense of liberation it gives you.
Besides, you will only truly be able to do nice things for someone else if you know how to do them for yourself first. So, if you must, choose to see this as a first step. Think about that show that you have been meaning to watch for the longest time. Why not throw it on already? Maybe you could even make yourself a nice dinner while you are at it. This is one of those rare days when there really is no excuse for being “too busy,” so cherish it, because not having a partner certainly does not mean that there is nothing to celebrate.
Valentine’s Day was never a competition with winners and losers; it really is just about celebrating love. You could (and should) do that every day, and more importantly, that can mean so many different things. Why not take Valentine’s Day as a chance for you to celebrate your relationship with yourself? In fact, some even say that the word “valentine” itself originated from the Latin word “valentia,” which means “strength.” So, at the risk of sounding cheesy — which is a risk that I will gladly take, as should any college student — know that you can be your own valentine. The more you focus on building a loving relationship with yourself, the less you will find yourself depending on another person for your fulfillment, because that is a feeling that comes from within. One of the greatest things about college is that it offers you a world of opportunities to find that fulfillment, and it is important to not make the mistake of missing out on them or taking them for granted out of the misguided notion that you need to find romance to feel complete. No matter what peer pressure might push you to think, college is really about personal development, and everyone has their own journey towards that.
Of course, all of this is certainly not to say that romantic relationships are pointless or that college students should not think about them; as a self-confessed romantic at heart, that is the last thing I would say. On the contrary, if you focus on feeding your own soul first, you will find that you will have so much more of your own to give to a potential soulmate. One of the many beautiful things about love is that there really is no timeline for it. The relationships that are most likely to grow into something meaningful are those that just happen naturally, not the ones you try to seek out simply to experience the concept of love.
In the meantime, there is immense value in simply celebrating the idea of love. The next time you see a blissful couple on the street or listen to a friend excitedly telling you about their date, try not to see it as a reminder of what you do not have, because it does not mean that you are unlucky. It only means that you have more time to focus on your own growth, to become the best possible version of yourself so that you are even more prepared when love does come around. Until then — and even after that — see Valentine’s Day as a reminder that despite everything, love is well and truly alive in all of its glory. Take a moment to appreciate the beauty of that. It could just as easily find its way to you one day, at a point when you are least expecting it.
For now, you always have yourself to rely on, and there truly is nothing more comforting and empowering than that. So, this Valentine’s Day, take a moment to celebrate how far you have come and how much you have grown. You absolutely deserve it.